BDD=Body Dysmorphic Disorder

People have been asking me what BDD is, and i'm glad.  BDD hasn't received nearly enough attention as it should.  It means Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and to put it simply, it's an exaggerated obsession of one's own appearance.  However it's far from simple.  It has not only affected my self-esteem, but my whole life.  I literally don't leave the house FOR the reason that I don't want people to look at me.  If you don't suffer from this then you could never understand.  For those of you who do then you know exactly what it is that i'm talking about.  I've gone to desperate measures to try to be beautiful; all failing.  For me the biggest one if my weight.  I've struggled with it all my life.  The only time I managed to be as thin as I wanted to was when I would only eat two Special K bars a day.  That equals roughly 200 calories.  This could kill you, and I don't in any way suggest you try this.  For the majority of my life i've been chubby.  Take it from me, chubby girls are seen in a WHOLE different way that thin girls.  We're supposed to be funny or goofy, anything but pretty.  Goodness, we could NEVER be pretty.  I mean we're fat right?  Fat isn't pretty.  This is the mindset of most of the world.  Well I for one would like to be thought of as beautiful regardless of what my size may be.  Do I feel pretty?  No.  Not even a little bit.  I feel repulsive.  I feel like how could anyone ever in a million years want to date me?  And sadly i'm usually right.  I'm a very realistic person.  I know what I am, and what i'm not.  I'm not a beauty queen.  I'm not exceptionally smart.  I'm not naturally gifted at anything really.  But i'm me.  And the time I spend here on earth isn't in vain.  I've helped many people throughout my lifetime, and I hope to be able to help many more.  BDD may make my life more difficult, but it hasn't ruined it.  I'd never give it that much power over me.  To all of you beautiful people out there who struggle with this, my only advice is to not stop trying.  It may not go away, but it does get easier.  After awhile you get to a point where you become in control, and the BDD is nothing more than a nuisance.  Just know that you're not alone.  There are people out there who feel like you do, and who honestly understand.  The people that judge us are simply the people who don't understand us.  It's human nature to be scared of things that we can't understand.  We need to educate people on this illness.  If there's less confusion about it, there will be less of a stigma attatched to it.  Stay strong!