Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I had a HORRIBLE attack today
So it's been awhile since i've had a panic attack at all, and this one made up for time lost. I was working out pretty hard, because i've been really wanting to lose some weight. Well out of nowhere my chest tightens up. I mean completely. I felt like I couldn't breathe at all. Now, a few years back I had walking pneumonia so I know how it feels to not be able to breathe. I really felt as if I couldn't inhale at all. If you've ever experienced anything like this then you know how down right scary of a feeling that it is. It eventually passed, but the anxiety is still plaguing me. Of course I have meds to take during an attack, but when it hits I feel to debilitated to get to them. And then I start in on feeling like i'm never going to get better, and how can I handle life etc. I feel as though I don't even know how to get through the rest of the evening, yet alone the rest of my life! Right now I feel weak, and completely and utterly OUT of control of myself and my life. I'm overwhelmed, and feel like I can't get everything that needs to be done-done. There's not even that much for me to do these days. When I was in high school I was much busier. But now even mundane tasks seem nearly impossible. That's where i'm at right now; lost in the middle of nowhere.
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I know exactly what a "tightened chest" feels like. When I first had axiety attacks about 4 years ago I thought I was having a heart attack or I was losing consciousness. I called 911 a few times, took a ride in the ambulance once, spent a couple times in the ER as well. I saw a couple cardiologists and my heart was fine as far as they can tell, but I wore a monitor and my heart rate would climb to 180 when I had attacks. 200 plus is the danger zone if you don't have a healthy heart. These attacks would come out of nowhere. Usually when I was just watching tv or on the computer. Eventually, the anxiety started to arise from my own suspicions of pending attacks or I kept always thinking that something was wrong or an attack was coming--lots of paranoia.
ReplyDeleteIt is a scary feeling and I would sleep on the couch and not my bed so I didn't feel alone or if anything happened my roommates could help me. I haven't had attacks in a couple of years and it's because I'm on medication now and I've take certain steps to lower my stress by eating healthier and not drinking as much alcohol.
Alcohol has been a huge problem for me, but I'll talk about that another time. For the most part, I used it to help cope with my anxiety and depression, the wrong way and it made everything worse.
I hope that when they attacks come in the future for either you or I, we will be able to help each other. I'll send you my number onn facebook after we get to know each other better.